(Here's Annabelle being a helper)
Sometimes, a day, month, week, or year is demonstrably bad. Plenty of objective evidence will back up your argument that it was simply and objectively a bad stretch of time full of bad events. SO MUCH is beyond a person's control. Anything you can't control is not your fault. This post is a list of ideas for the things you CAN control, because even if you can't fix everything it can often make you feel much better to improve something. I'll break my ideas down into a few categories. Please comment with your ideas, too.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: These are things to voluntarily try if you WANT to. Probably no one can do all of them. Maybe attempt one at a time, to see what works for you and what doesn't. If you find one you like, stick with that and then (if you WANT) try adding another. Perfectionism is a known way to ruin a year!
Oh, and for every single idea, mentally add the words "if possible" to the beginning. Don't do anything you can't or shouldn't do, just because I suggested it.
Physical Well-Being
Your brain is just as much a part of your body as any other part, and it's where your thoughts and feelings come from. So I believe that a solid first step toward feeling emotionally good is to check in with what you're doing for the body you live in. Here are some things to try:
- Drink more water.
- Drink fewer sugary drinks (all the way down to zero, if possible).
- Drink fewer artificially sweetened drinks.
- Gradually reduce your caffeine intake to see if that reduces your anxiety level.
- Try drinking tea (especially green tea) instead of coffee sometimes. It has less caffeine per cup, more health benefits, and can reduce your anxiety level if you drink it regularly... if I'm understanding my pop science articles correctly.
- Reduce the amount of alcoholic drinks you have at a time, and/or the number of days you drink (I'm well-known to not be against drinking alcohol, but I do believe that there's such a thing as "too much.")
- Add more servings of vegetables, fruits, nuts, and beans to your diet (obviously nothing to which you are allergic or that you've been advised not to eat by a qualified medical person who knows your situation). Even one more serving a day of nutritious food can make a big difference in the way you feel.
- Take vitamins that are appropriate for you. That shouldn't replace good nutrition from healthy food, but it can fill in what's missing. Make sure you're not taking too much of any supplement, though, because that can cause problems.
- Stand up and walk around for a couple of minutes after every hour of sitting.
- Add more outdoor walks to each week.
- Add more cardio workouts to your life, ideally on some sort of manageable, regular basis.
- Take opportunities to stretch your muscles as often as you can.
- Do some kind of regular practice to build your muscular strength.
- Sleep on a regular schedule, ideally for 7 to 8 hours each night. You'll probably get better quality sleep if you give yourself some no-screen wind-down time for an hour or two before bedtime, in low lighting.
- Get medical help as soon as possible for any kind of problem that's messing up your life, whether it's illness, injury, inexplicable pain, or distress.
Emotional Well-Being
These are some ways to directly make your mind feel better. Some may work better than others for a particular person:
- Be kind to other people as often as you can.
- Don't set out to harm someone, even if you think they've harmed you. That will probably make you feel worse, eventually. It might lead to more negative interactions over time, too.
- Write down three things you're grateful for each day, at a time that fits your schedule. I've often seen suggestions to do this either first thing in the morning, or just before bed. Another spin on this idea is to write down three things that went well either that day or the day before.
- Try to assume positive intent from other people, rather than hostile intent, at least before you know for sure.
- Don't expect perfection from yourself or anyone else. You're trying. They're trying. Often people have to learn from mistakes.
- Learn how to meditate, and try to fit in at least five minutes of meditation time each day.
- Ask for help when you're struggling. Someone else might think of ideas you can't, or they may have resources you don't.
- Spend time with friends and family in ways you enjoy.
- If you need to meet more people, join groups! You can find them online through sites like Meetup.com or Facebook, or you can check out places like libraries and churches to see if there are groups you can join. My local small-town library has a library volunteer organization, a book club, and free weekly movie screenings, plus activities for children. Most places will have some way to connect with like-minded people.
- Avoid spending time with people who are draining or who cause you pain, if at all possible. Sometimes there are people you have to see at work, but maybe you can change something about that to make it easier. But in other situations, think about whether you REALLY have to spend time with someone, or you just believe that you SHOULD. Maybe you shouldn't, for your own well-being.
- Learn something new.
- Drop something that's a consistent waste of time.
- Make something, whether it's a craft, a practical do-it-yourself project, a photo you can hang on your wall, or some cookies.
- Do or finish one project that's been on your mind.
- Write in a private journal on a regular basis, and keep it where no one else will see it, so you can clarify your thoughts and express your feelings in a safe way. (If you believe someone's going to search through your stuff and find it, make whatever adjustments you need to free yourself from that feeling. Are you in a toxic relationship? Do you need to set better boundaries? Are you being paranoid? Any of these things might mean you need help from someone you trust).
- Work on improving your financial situation, so that you can have more control over your life.
- Get involved with helping others in a way that's meaningful to you. It could be volunteering, donating money or your possessions, writing blog posts to give advice, boosting signals for worthy causes, or anything else that you believe is helpful to people.
- Make changes. If something about your life is really bothering you, seek out information and advice on how to change it (from friends, books, the internet), and then make a plan with manageable goals and steps to do.
- Try to see the positive side of any situation, even if it's not completely ideal. "When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars." (I don't know who originally wrote that, but I saw it quoted recently and I've taken it as my motto.)
Well, this became longer than I had expected it would! I guess I've absorbed a few ideas in 46 years of life. But I'm sure I don't know everything, and probably haven't remembered to write down everything I do know, so I hope you'll add your thoughts in the comment section! Just remember that we can't all do all of these things all the time (I certainly don't), and that even picking one thing to try for a while might really give you a boost. Happy New Year!
