The Social Media Dilemma: Can We Not Have Nice Things?

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Like millions (billions?) of people, I'm on Facebook. I am also on Twitter, Instagram (which is now owned by Facebook), and Google+. I like being on the internet and using social media, in general, and I also use social media to share my creative work. I'm not over here just taking from social media; I'm giving it content that generates clicks on a near-daily basis, often many times a day, and that adds up to a lot of ad money for them and not a bit of ad money for me. They know I want to use their sites, however, so they seem to feel that they can take me for granted. The sad thing is that they may be right, for reasons I'll get into below.

I want places to post my thoughts and photos where interested people will see them. Let's be honest: I'm going to put a link to this post on all of the sites I mentioned above except Instagram, where I only post images of my artwork, which has been a neglected area of my output for the last several months (I can't do everything all the time! I do not like that about myself!). 

But Nayad, you ask. What exactly is your problem?

Let me tell you about my problem. My favorite social media site has been Facebook, ever since LiveJournal stopped being my favorite. I've been on Facebook, collecting connections with people I've met, for over ten years now. Over time, though, the changes there have made it less helpful for me. One of the main things that bothers me about it, especially in the last couple of years, is the manipulation of what people will be able to see. Some posts are suppressed to the point of practically disappearing, for a variety of reasons. If you don't interact with someone enough, you don't see their posts as often, and that makes it harder to interact with them, so eventually you might never see their posts at all. For a writer like me, with 2,581 Facebook "friends" (which covers everyone from family through friends through acquaintances through friends-of-friends I have never met in person), that means most of the connections I might hope to develop actually cannot be developed. People who might like to see my public posts probably won't. 

Yes, people can always go directly to my blog, or to my main Facebook page, and they might. I sometimes go to the main pages of people I want to keep up with. But I would prefer to have a social media feed that helps me to notice what's going on with people who interest me, but might not always be on the top of my mind. I want other people to be able to have the option of seeing my posts without the site adding a layer of its own "opinion" about which posts matter to which people. 

A little while earlier this morning, I was thinking about this and - I know this is weird - I posted on Facebook about the idea of shifting more of my social media efforts to Google+, which isn't perfect but works differently. Almost immediately, I got a comment from someone who told me that Google+ is going to be discontinued. I looked it up: real news. I got other comments with ideas like using Instagram instead, or joining Mastodon, which looks like a better version of Twitter, maybe? Except a bit confusing to join? And a longtime early-adopter acquaintance who consistently finds the good stuff suggested Micro.blog, but I haven't had the chance to check it out and see how it works. So my Facebook people do see my posts and comment on them, and they simultaneously have similar concerns about Facebook and want to find better options. They also know just as well as I do that it's really hard to get anyone to try a new type of social media these days, because we get pretty invested in the ones we're already on and don't have the time to check out other ones that none of our friends are on yet, anyway. LIKE I SAID: DILEMMA.

I guess I want a social media site which:

• allows different filters for sharing (public, family, friends, acquaintances, networking)
• allows posts to be any length you want
• doesn't steer the visibility of posts in any way on its own
• allows the user to choose settings to filter posts, if they want
• shows posts in the order in which they were posted!
• facilitates useful, threaded comments
• isn't riddled with ways for your info to be stolen or otherwise profited from
• is attractive, easy to sign up for, and fun to use
• routinely solicits and applies user feedback
• doesn't get into shady social experimentation
• cracks down on bots and fake news with vigor

You know? Something that contributes value to the world and manages to become profitable by not being obviously monofocused on profit?

Stop laughing at me.

Things You Might Like to Read While I'm Away from the Keyboard

This evening I'm leaving town to go to Mo*Con in Indianapolis, where I expect I will have a fabulous time or get arrested trying. Disclaimer: I have actually never gotten arrested, so I'm not sure I understand the process. But you never know. You never do know.

After the weekend, I'm moving onward for a vacation next week. Since I'm not taking a computer, I don't expect to be posting in this here blog during that time, so I'm going to leave you with some links to read. BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOUR NEEDS. I'll have my phone, which means I'll be showing up on Twitter and Facebook. But here are those links!

My two most popular blog posts:

Five Things I've Learned from Reading Slush (July 11, 2011), from back in my days of reading submissions for Clarkesworld Magazine (which, by the way, has a new, free, excellent-looking issue posted for May, so in my opinion you won't be sorry if you click).

Five Great Books for New-ish Writers (July 18, 2011), all of which I still recommend, but this reminds me: Coming Soon: Five Books for Leveling Up in Writing and Life.

Other blogs I recommend:

Start here for a list of blog posts exploring depression and creativity, written by people who will be at Mo*Con. Links to the rest are at the bottom of the post. This year's theme is The Mind and Spirit of the Artist.

Inkpunks, where a bunch of fantastic writers I know post consistently thoughtful and helpful posts about writing. I'm never disappointed when I visit this blog.

Penelope Trunk's Career Blog, where Penelope expresses a huge personality with interesting things to say, bringing in stories from her personal life to illustrate her widely respected ideas about career development. Many people disagree with her conclusions, but she offers a lot to think about. I don't know her, but my cousin does! If you want to see what she's like, here's a post that includes a demo reel from when some people wanted to make a reality show about her life.

Booktrust, where author Matt Haig is the writer-in-residence. He has a blog on his own website, too.

Ferrett Steinmetz's blog, in which he writes about writing, gaming, polyamory, beekeeping, politics, and all sorts of other things. I am solidly on Team Ferrett.

That should give you plenty to choose from! I hope you have a great week. If all goes as planned, I'll be back to blogging in mid-May, which is not terribly far in the future.

Corrections and Friday Reads

Good Friday! This will be a brief post, but I will fill it with links to make it worth your time.

First, a correction: I know I said in my upcoming schedule that I would be going to Odyssey Con this weekend, but I'm not going to be there due to a need to reallocate my time. I'll miss going, but nobody would want me coughing in the con's airspace, anyway. This recent respiratory ailment has been way too tenacious.

And now for the fun stuff. Books! On Twitter there's a tradition of posting #fridayreads, and I'm bringing it to my blog. I'm currently reading Paper Cities, edited by Ekaterina Sedia (whose website is beautiful. Click!). I have a thing about fantasy set in cities, but not necessarily always the Urban Fantasy category as we know it today with the vampires and the werewolves, so what I am saying is that this anthology is very good for me, so far. I'm not even halfway through it, but I want to recommend three outstanding stories: "The Bumblety's Marble," by Cat Rambo, "Promises: A Tale of the City Imperishable," by Jay Lake, and my favorite so far, "Ghost Market," by Greg van Eekhout. The book is worth its cover price for just these three stories, as far as I'm concerned, but I'm looking forward to reading the rest, because there are amazing writers all over the table of contents.

The other book I just started to read is Flash Fiction: 72 Very Short Stories, edited by James Thomas, Denise Thomas, and Tom Hazuka. I have to admit that I've never paid much attention to flash fiction before, but recently I've read several excellent stories under 1,000 words long, and I've become nearly what one might call "obsessed" with the category. I've developed the ambition to write some, which by all accounts is not easy to do, especially when you're writing a genre story that might need a few words to go toward how the story world is fantastical or science-fictional.

That's it for now. I hope you have whatever kind of weekend you want to have!

Coming soon: Five Important Reasons to Worry about Divination

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How I Party with Social Media

I'm not a Major Player on any social network, or even kind of a big deal, but I'll tell you what. By having fun online, and making very little effort indeed, I've built up three nifty groups of social media comrades. This morning, I have 1,565 Facebook friends, 751 Twitter followers, and I've been encircled by 423 people on the new, but quickly growing, Google+. Here's what I do.

I treat the online world like an array of parties.

There are things I like to do when I go to a real-world party. First of all, I dress up. I think about what outfits I could wear for the occasion, and put on what will make me look and feel good: something that will make an impression when I walk in. When I go online, that's my profile picture. It seems to me that a fairly close-up facial picture is the best idea, since the icons on profiles and comments can turn out to be really small, especially on Twitter. That way, people can see what I look like and recognize that we've met before, if we have. If we haven't met in the real world, the picture is an introduction just as much as my entrance into a party full of unmet future friends would be. Profile information is included in my party outfit. I want people to be able to tell whether they'd like to get to know me or not, and letting them know what I do and what I like is part of that, especially if I can say it with some style.

I also like to think about what I have to say when I'm going to a party. It's good to tell people things about myself, but it's even more fun to be prepared with questions to ask them, and to pay attention and respond to the things that people tell me. Each social media site gives me different ways to interact.

On Twitter, it's all about being quick and witty. I have my public account, and anyone can read it. To avoid being boring, I like to bring some variety. I can make remarks about anything, from comments on what I'm doing to silly, repeating jokes (as anyone who has suffered through my #CAPSTUESDAY madness can tell you). Since I don't enjoy hearing about the fact that someone just drank a cup of coffee, or that they hate their job, I try to avoid broadcasting what I consider to be dull or complaining remarks (with exceptions, I'm sure). Instead, I'll mention funny things that happen, or bring up good books I've read, or ask questions, or post links or pictures. It's fine to talk about work, to a point, but interesting people have other topics to discuss, too. Also, I feel it's okay to be quiet and listen if I don't have anything to say. I pay attention to what my friends are saying and comment on that, and I'll retweet interesting things that come through from the people I'm following. I hardly ever ask for retweets, because I feel like that's the same as going up to the front of the room at a party, grabbing the microphone, and asking everyone in the room for a favor or some money. That's only to be used for the most important situations! However, I think that it's okay to make an announcement once in a while. Say, if a story of mine is coming out, or I've blogged. A quick, breezy little statement, and then I'm off the stage to mingle again.

Facebook is different, since the relationships have to be mutual. This is a party full of people who all, for one reason or another, wouldn't mind spending some time with me. By definition, they already know I exist before I arrive and start to talk. In my case, over several years of showing up there, it's become rather a large party, but because of the way Facebook works, I get steered toward a smaller room within the venue to interact with people who have shown the most interest in interacting with me. It's not really set up well for getting to know more people in the crowd. One nice thing about it, though, is that I'm given a section of wall where I can put up whatever decorations I like, and people can choose to look at them if they want, and leave me notes there. I post a lot of pictures in Facebook, and weird, wacky comments that amuse me. People joke around with me in their comments. It's a good time. I can post announcements there with the reasonable expectation that my friends will see them.

Google+ is still working itself out, so I'm not sure what kind of a party it is, but I love it. Like Twitter, people can follow anyone they like; it doesn't have to be mutual. Unlike Twitter, people can post things to specified groups only. So I can post a public thing for everyone to see, and post something else that only my friends and acquaintances can look at, and more personal stuff for just friends, all the way to sharing something with only one person. At the same time, there's no character limit for my posts, so I can go into depth with ideas if I want to, or keep it short. It has features I haven't even tried yet, like video-chat hangouts. I think the beauty of G+ is that you can make it into any kind of party you want it to be, large or small. Google seems to be way more responsive to user preferences than Facebook has ever been, too. I feel like it's easier to meet new people here than on Facebook, and it will likely become even more so as search directories get established. (In case my propaganda is too subtle (heh), I will say outright that I recommend joining G+!)

My most important guiding principle is to BE POLITE. To be NICE, whenever possible, but polite at minimum. As it is with real-world parties, so it is online: Nobody likes rude behavior at a party. Like the self-centered, desperate person who's only there to sell something, always turning the conversation back to work, work, work, and what you can do for him. Or the trash-talker, getting attention by saying bad things about people, spinning stories to the negative, and starting fights. Or the monomaniac, there to discuss ONE TOPIC ONLY, regardless of what anyone else is saying. It's rude face-to-face, and it's rude on a computer screen. People can talk about ideas without being rude and nasty. It happens all the time. I've seen it.

Social media, at its best, should not be work. It should be about enjoying people, making friends, and paying attention to what our friends are trying to do. It should be about having fun and being generous. Show up with a bottle of wine and some snacks to share, and magic will happen.